It's called
Unorthodox Chess: Unconventional Opening Strategy for the Modern Chess Enthusiast and it's the greatest thing to happen to chess since the invention of the black square! It will change your game! It will change your life! It will change your future, change your past, change your entire gaming mindset so thoroughly that all your days until now will be seen as merely prelude to your moment of near-divine illumination, clouded only slightly by occasional memories of how you had once wasted so many previous years in trudging the dusty corridors of the discredited notions of a moss-backed professional establishment whose sole purpose was to deny you the intellectual riches contained in this fantastic new tome!!
We Sweated So You Won't Have To!
Unorthodox Chess contains the distilled wisdom of fifteen centuries of analytic gamesmanship. But it has more than that. If it had only that, you would gladly pay $500 for these precious pages and call yourself a crafty bargainer. No indeed, this book contains something infinitely more precious: it contains the essence of the unfathomable, inscrutable genius of an author who has devoted his entire life to the single-minded pursuit of piece-posturing perfection! Decades of dreary toil long into the night! Living and dreaming chess! Reading chess, writing chess, playing chess, and winning chess! Chess for honor, chess for gain, chess for pleasure, chess for pain -- insights and revelations on this timeless and baffling game of kings presented at last to an unsuspecting world in 379 pages of courtly battles that only escalate in their excitement, suspense, and sheer drama on a scale to make any other human escapade seem a waste of oxygen!
Not a Book but a Revolution!
Unorthodox Chess doesn't just teach you how to win at chess. It teaches you how to win in a sneaky, underhanded, unorthodox way that is guaranteed to flummox the opposition and leave them gazing in slack-jawed disbelief at the wreckage of their own fondly-supposed grand strategy. You will almost hear the birds twittering around their heads!
Every one of the 20 possible opening chess moves is rigorously analyzed and counter-analyzed to reveal the unexpected potential. This book will show you how to win by opening with g4 or even Na3! Unorthodox Chess is divided into three major sections which together cover all the major components of chess strategy and lead to the denouement of truly radical, rock 'n' roll guerilla warfare on the piebald field of glory!
There are three main sections in the book. The first chapter, Conventional Opening Strategy, starts off easy. Here is a wealth of sample games and analyses of mainstream chess openings in which the author presents his favorite lines and pet variations, including valuable improvements and novelties, which can be depended upon to yield satisfactory results if not mishandled. For those of you who mean business and are out for blood! Next there is
Passive Aggression (commonly referred to as the "Hedgehog" or "Hippopotamus" opening system, though it certainly deserves a more colorful title), which is more or less well known if not widely practiced, and which the author can highly recommend as a particular field of specialty for letting the opponent defeat himself. Finally, Subterfuge stretches the limits of eccentricity by exploring the realm of mutually defensive opening strategy as well as devious psychological and provocational ploys.
Unorthodox Design!
These 379 meticulously-crafted pages are specially spiral-bound to allow the book to be laid flat on the table next to your chessboard for serious contemplation. No diagrams to waste pages or distract you from your study. Best of all, it has been condensed into a convenient 6 x 9 format for easy portability. Just imagine whipping this volume out of your backpack or briefcase and watching your opponent wilt before your cheering public! This book will make you win games before you even read it!!
We're Practically Giving it Away!
By now you're wondering just how much this magnificent store of wisdom would cost you. You might expect such an astronomical value would come at an astronomical price. Perhaps a few timid souls are wondering if it might be had for as little as a thousand dollars. To which we say, Ha!! And ha! again! We're not even asking half that. Not even a quarter! No, this book can be yours for the outrageously pitiful sum of $99.95 (plus shipping and handling). That's less than one percent of what you could win at any of the dozens of chess tournaments around the world!!
To those few blockheads who might dare to suggest that other chess books are somewhat cheaper, we have three compelling and irrefutable replies:
- All other chess books are worthless
- The price is far less than the cost of drowning your anguish from losing yet another chess match
- We have kept the price just high enough to scare off your cowardly opponents
It's easy to order my book. Just click on this convenient Paypal button
and we will speedily process your order. But while waiting for your book to arrive, you can make good use of your time by burning all your other chess books!
Accept No Substitutes!
Beware of Imitations!
Some unscrupulous dealers might try to fob off books that look like this one. They might even feature the word "chess" in the title. But they are useless! They will not teach you a fraction of what you can learn by studying merely one move of one game in this game-packed volume! Don't be deceived! Only those copies of
Unorthodox Chess published by
Trafford Publishing are real. The rest are frauds! Run away from them! They will only lead you down the false and well-trodden road of chess mediocrity.
The Book They Would Destroy!
The chess orthodoxy is terrified of this book and has already marshaled its forces to suppress the explosive ideas contained within these incendiary pages! They might even succeed! So order your copy before the opportunity is lost forever!!!
